I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
