we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize