"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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