I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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