I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
