if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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