Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
