for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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