I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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