And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
