Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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