she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
