i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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