Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
