she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
