chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize