just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
