He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
