i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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