I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Gay?
German.
Pity.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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