you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
