Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize