there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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