Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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