a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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