I accidentally burped into my bong.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize