she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
