She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
