yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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