no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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