It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
