Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
