I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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