if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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