i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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