Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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