If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
