if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
