i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
