so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
