i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
