sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
