Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
God, I missed his penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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