it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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