I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
