Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
