I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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