i think my mom watched the whole time
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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