jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
