And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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