I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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