Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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