Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i out mim tonsoeep
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