I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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