You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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