so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
