Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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