How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
