He kissed a someone with a penis
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize