Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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