It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
