that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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