Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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