You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
even my farts smell like vagina
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize