I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
