a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
