He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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