How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
