Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
