I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
