Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
love makes seman taste better
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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