I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
