Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Come on in and take your pants off
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