david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize