you would pick up someone in the library
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize