I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize