Where did you get a picture of my penis
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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