I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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